Leading with Love in Uncertain Times

Community, Grief and Healing Retreats in Costa Rica and Santa Barbara

There is way too much happening in the world right now — the weight is heavy, the pace is fast, and the tone is sharp. We are constantly being asked to brace ourselves, to act quickly, to harden our positions, or to disconnect in order to cope. Our nervous systems can only take so much.

At TwoCan Retreats, we return again and again to a quieter, steadier practice of leading with love. Not love as sentimentality or romance, not love as avoidance or bypassing, but love as a disciplined form of presence — a willingness to stay connected to ourselves and to one another, even when discomfort or uncertainty are present.

At the core of our work is a simple understanding: the human experience is wide enough to hold multiple truths at the same time. Sorrow and beauty are not mutually exclusive. Despair and hope can coexist. Love and outrage are not opposites — often, we are outraged because our love is fierce. The capacity to feel deeply — to care, to mourn, to celebrate — is something we all share. In uncertain times, love is what keeps us moving forward, standing up to injustice, and tending what matters most.

We are interconnected in ways both visible and invisible — with one another, with the natural world, with the generations that came before us, and with those who will come after. Whether we speak of this in psychological terms, spiritual language, Indigenous wisdom, or simply as shared humanity, the truth remains that none of us exists in isolation. We are hardwired for connection. Our nervous systems respond to one another. Our healing happens in community. Our acts of love, kindness, and compassion ripple outward. This is how change begins.

As a Western psychotherapist informed by contemplative practice, Buddhist psychology, and a family systems lens, I am continually reminded that suffering does not arise in isolation, nor does healing. We are shaped by the relational fields we inhabit — our families, our communities, our histories — just as we shape them in return. The path is not to eliminate suffering, but to meet it with awareness and compassion, understanding both the individual experience and the larger systems that hold it. Presence does not mean passivity; it means responding rather than reacting. It means allowing what is real to be real, without rushing to fix, judge, or escape it.

In times like these, leading with love often looks like slowing down when the world urges urgency, listening when others are shouting, and creating spaces where people are not required to justify their pain or prove their worthiness. It looks like honoring the nervous system, respecting choice, and remembering that kindness is not weakness, but strength.

When the world feels fractured, our response is not to retreat from one another, but to gather gently and intentionally, grounded in both spirit and practicality. We are not separate from what is happening around us, and we are not powerless within it. Each act of presence, each moment of listening, each choice toward kindness contributes to the larger field we all share.

At TwoCan Retreats, stewardship means tending spaces where grief is welcome, where gratitude is not forced, and where both can exist side by side. It means holding community circles where witnessing matters more than fixing, and where silence can be more meaningful than words. It means trusting that when people are met with compassion rather than advice, something steady and life-giving begins to unfold.

This is the ground we stand on — a commitment to love that is embodied, compassionate and awake to the realities happening around us. From this place of care, we continue to gather, locally and farther afield. We hold community-centered wellness and spiritual retreats in Santa Barbara, along with open Waves of Grief circles, rooted in presence, connection to nature and our shared humanity. Each year, we also offer our weeklong Waves of Grief Retreat in Costa Rica, an immersive ocean-based wellness retreat for those who feel called into deeper time for reflection, reconnection with nature, and healing in community.

However and wherever we meet you, our intention remains the same: to tend spaces of love, compassion, grief, and gratitude — honoring our deep connection with ourselves, one another, the earth and all beings.